When we give a short, written message to someone, it’s extremely easy for us to be misunderstood. This can lead to a lot of issues, especially as so many of our communication tools today encourage short format messages.
Blog comments, Friendfeed, forums, Twitter, Facebook, text messages etc, are prime examples of messages that are usually written quickly and sent instantly. Anyone who has used these tools will, at some time, have experienced the kind of confusion I am referring to here.
Twitter confusion
For example: I had a message sent to one of my Twitter accounts this week, which simply said something like; “Well done!” I asked the person who sent it, what she was congratulating me for; as nothing I had been discussing that day merited congratulations. She said she was replying to a general tweet I had sent out, 3 days earlier!
As Twitter does not provide threaded comments, there was no way I could possibly have known what she was referring to; unless I went back over the past three days worth of my tweets. Even then, it would have been guess work.
In the bad old days, we would have had to take out a pen and paper or stuff some paper into a typewriter before we could write to someone. Written communications back then took a lot longer; but they gave us stacks more thinking time.
Now, it seems many people see something appear instantly on a screen in front of them, then feel compelled to respond instantly too. Write that tweet fast, hit send fast – job done!
They used to say that to be an effective writer we needed to write with clarity. Whilst this is still true, I think that today, there’s another discipline we need to add to our communications arsenal: to pause for a moment before we hit that send button.
Okay…why is letter writing referred to as “the bad old days?” Believe it or not I used to have a pen pal! Also, when my dog died I was so happy when my friends dropped a home-made card in my mailbox that I cried.
That being said I almost always try to force myself to sit down and consider what it is that I’m typing. I revise everything from blog comments to forum posts to text messages. Communicating the correct message is extremely important, on online, knowing the right words is essential…
You make an excellent point here, however, even when you do take the time to sent a message that you’ve thought about, people can still misconstrue your words. One client who I had to turn down somehow assumed that I was being cocky after the following exchange:
“You write as though you have years of experience.”
“I do have years of experience.”
Communication is key, people.
I’m a pen collector and only write using a fountain pen, which often drives people nuts.
In the bad old days, we had no choice other than writing by hand or typewriters – today we STILL have the ability to put pen to paper.
Hence, old days = bad (less choice.)
If I remember correctly, you are still at school? It’s not that surprising that a client thought you were being cocky, when you threw his or her compliment back at them.
They were complimenting you on your maturity as a writer. Maybe in a few years you will learn to accept compliments with a ‘thank you.’
You were not being cocky at all you were being arrogant. look at the comments you leave, disrespecting people and telling people you know better than them.
If your writing here’s anything to go by you want to learn your game before you start telling pros what to do.
@jim: Why let her use your blog to tout for work and disrespect you?!?
Whilst Corey is ‘a little’ abrupt, she is also a teenager – and a teenager who is dedicated to doing something positive.
I don’t see Corey’s comments as link bait, which is what I think you were suggesting? I have tweeted with Corey for (correct me here Corey) about a year; maybe longer and she’s one of the most honest, decent people you could have the pleasure to connect with.
I appreciate your concern Alan, but in this case I think it’s misplaced.
Thanks for the compliment. =)
Since when was I disrespecting people? I replied to a statement you made about me…which was rather disrespectful in and of itself. This is a great example of what this post is talking about because I was neither intending nor viewing my comments as “arrogant” but that’s how you’re interpreting it.
I have nothing but the utmost respect for Jim Connolly. He’s given me some awesome advice in the past and his information is top notch. I don’t comment here to “tout for work.” I comment because I enjoy the blog
@Jim
I was not meaning to “throw their comment back at them.” I guess I could kind of see how that would look…I was just trying to confirm what they had said…
To an effect – we do that in school. “Your project is awesome!” “I know, right?” Very few people actually say ‘thank you’ and I’ve never been very good at taking compliments…personal flaws for the win.
I’m 44 and still working on a LONG list of flaws.
Teriffic post as always. If people thought a bit harder before sending info out over the interwebs, there’d be a lot less dross out there.
This blogs getting better and better Jimbo.
Terry.C
Thanks Terry. I so love being called Jimbo
Excellent point, how many times have we not wanted to undo the sending of e-mail, blog posts, tweets etcetera? But especially e-mail is dangerous, I have found myself in situations where I started typing an e-mail after receiving one that infuriated me, only to not hit send after thinking for just one second. I picked up the phone instead, or cooled down and sent a completely different e-mail 10 minutes later.
Very good advice.
Now, should I hit Submit Comment, or should I pause first?
Thanks for the feedback Marc!
Love that line at the bottom – magic!